I love baseball. Seriously, I really love it. Not only do I love the game itself, but I also love the atmosphere. I can’t think of too many places I would rather be then a baseball game. But you know what I do not love…When two kids sit in front of me with t-shirts with cut-off sleeves. The game was immediately ruined. I can’t tell you who won, the score, who hit home runs, fucking nothing. I was locked onto this image. I waited almost the entire game for these two shoulders to touch and become one. I wanted…actually...I needed to see if it was awkward for these two jerks. And let’s not kid ourselves, these guys are jerks. I wear a cut-off to the gym or to cut the grass, and even then I am not comfortable with it. Wearing such a garment out in public is the same as wearing a sandwich board that says, “Asshole”. How could this even happen?
Jerk 1: “Hey Man, I see you’re wearing a cut-off t-shirt?”
Jerk 2: “Yea Bro, You are too! Sleeves are for wussies and it’s way too hot for sleeves. You know how bad I sweat when I have an extra 4 inches of cloth on my arms.”
Jerk 1: “Here is a great idea! Let’s sit by each other so maybe my tattoo can touch your shoulder and we could laugh about it and tell our co-workers at Arby’s!”
Jerk 2: “I want nothing more then for it to touch me so gently.”
That’s how I see it going down. Nothing else is acceptable. Maybe next time you could wear a jacket. Hell, go shirtless because even that is a step down on my Asshole Meter. But please, if you read this, remember that things like this bother psychos like myself. Have a little respect.
Jerk 1: “Hey Man, I see you’re wearing a cut-off t-shirt?”
Jerk 2: “Yea Bro, You are too! Sleeves are for wussies and it’s way too hot for sleeves. You know how bad I sweat when I have an extra 4 inches of cloth on my arms.”
Jerk 1: “Here is a great idea! Let’s sit by each other so maybe my tattoo can touch your shoulder and we could laugh about it and tell our co-workers at Arby’s!”
Jerk 2: “I want nothing more then for it to touch me so gently.”
That’s how I see it going down. Nothing else is acceptable. Maybe next time you could wear a jacket. Hell, go shirtless because even that is a step down on my Asshole Meter. But please, if you read this, remember that things like this bother psychos like myself. Have a little respect.
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